At some point last week we discussed security. As we got in small groups, I felt like an idiot. The only thing I could come up with at first was "safety." I really had to take a deep breath, close my eyes, and ask myself "what is security?" After a while, we started throwing out more synonyms, phrases, and criteria necessary for generating a feeling of security. We basically came up with: to be secure, one must not feel or be vulnerable, which necessarily means that he/she must have a sense of protection. Hilary mentioned that real security means you feel protected and secure no matter what (in war AND in peace), and I mentioned that it's really all about trust. A major part of security is depending on others to make you feel safe, so without trust, security is almost impossible. Also, security means completely different things depending on whether an individual, group, country, etc. is being discussed.
One idea that stuck with me after class was how differently men and women construct security for themselves. I think that men depend on physical objects; guns, knives, big muscles, a strong punch, etc. create a sense of safety. For women, I think it's a lot about who we're around...in a word, people. I feel much safer going somewhere unknown with someone I know (I suppose safer still if that person I know happens to be a secure-feeling male). I unfortunately fit the stereotype about women and weaponry; I don't really know how to use a gun/knife or how to physically fight. I'm hoping some kind of super-human strength would take the wheel if I ever find myself unsecured and in a life-or-death situation.
Growing up as an identical twin, I always felt secure in the most foreign circumstances because Sophie was always right beside me. We could (and still can) sense each others' comfort in a new situation and use one another as a crutch, especially in social circumstances. As the newcomers to our 6th grade class, we used each other as armor in the battle to find the "right" group of friends, and continued to do so well after 6th grade. As we grew up and went to different colleges, it was (and still is) much harder for me to feel secure as a person around new things and people (using "secure" in more of a "confidence" way). Most people learn to make friends at a very young age, but I didn't really learn how to do it by myself until I was 19...I think I'm finally getting the hang of it.
Anyway, security also has to do with how secure those around you feel, or at least pretend to feel. When I'm on an airplane, for example, I feel pretty secure as long as the flight attendants look calm. If we hit turbulence or if anything else slightly unexpected/scary happens, I immediately look for the flight attendants and begin reading their emotions as best as I can. Thank goodness they've always been calm (are they trained to be this way? Is my entire system useless?!). If the flight attendants ever started freaking out, my feeling of security would undoubtedly disappear. I hope this is normal.
I keep rambling.
Our small group devoted much of our discussion time to talking about how we think about defining security. Ultimately, we decided that power is a huge advantage. I kept thinking about how those with power (the government, decision/policy makers, dominant groups, the wealthy, etc.) are supposed to make everyone else feel protected...but they don't! I have less and less faith in our country's government, and I feel like I couldn't really ever trust anyone with tons of money. I think I feel pretty secure most of the time (as far as my safety is concerned), but I do get anxious pretty easily. I guess I have a hard time trusting people.
After last week...I think my feeling of security is kind of an illusion most of the time, and I'm ok with that.
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