The American Wedding Industry

This past Saturday, I dragged myself out of my cozy bed at 9 AM and drove to Bellefonte at 10 AM to meet one of my oldest girl friends at Formalities, a bridal shop/all-things-wedding-planning boutique. She's been engaged for the past two years and has thus been planning her dream wedding for the past one and half. As you might guess, I wasn't thrilled to be driving an hour in each direction on one of the most valuable final-studying days of the semester, but I went anyway because I am in the wedding party and had to be measured for my dress (which I am told I have to pay for, by the way...?!) and also because I've known her since we were six and she's depending on me during this whole ordeal (not sure why...)

Anyway, I was doubly un-psyched to be doing this because I knew that her super hyper, just-engaged, wedding-crazed cousin would be there, too. I had been to Formalities before--in July--to see my friend's dress, and knew what to expect...so for the duration of the hour-long drive, I was mentally and spiritually prepping myself for the fake-tanned (all female) employees to bombard me with "girl talk" as well as with their chemically-whitened smiles, perfect hair, and skin-tight clothes. And good thing I was, because they did exactly as I expected: all three women asked me what I thought of the dress materials and colors (wedding dress and bride's maids' dresses), my friend's fiance, their chosen venue, their potential honeymoon locations, their "save-the-dates" and invitations, my ideas for the bachellorette party, and four thousand other things about which I frankly don't give a damn. I mustered as much fake peppiness that I could and was quite pleasant considering the circumstances, if I do say so myself.

Soon after escaping the clutches of the wedding-crazed loonies, my friend looked at me and excitedly asked, "Hannah, why don't you just follow us to the State College Mall so I can have your input for my registry?! We get to use one of those GUNS!!!" And I thought: What the hell is a registry? It clicked...only because I've seen "The Wedding Planner" with Jennifer Lopez. Then I thought: How am I going to get out of this? It seems like torture...as IF using a "gun" to walk around for hours on end scanning tens of thousands of dollars worth of superfluous kitchen supplies and tacky home decor is going to make my day...

I went.
It was torture...(I wouldn't have survived if I hadn't been able to run to Barnes&Noble cafe for a coffee!)

I'm really sorry to be such a cynic, but I DO NOT UNDERSTAND America's modern and ever-growing-out-of-control wedding industry! It's just such a joke! I'm not trying to make fun of my friend (or anyone else), and she knows my attitude towards it all. So if she's reading this: no offense. I love you. Your wedding will be as beautiful as you want it to be...and it will be YOU! It's just so weird to me...

A wedding is basically the bride's call, at least in this case. My friend, like the majority of today's American brides, is spending SO much money on ONE day's worth of activities. She has a tiara, a special be-jeweled veil, matching (expensive!) bridesmaids dresses, flower girls and boys, wedding bands and rings and the like, special unnaturally-colored flowers for all of us to hold, a cake to feed her 300+ guests, and a registry that includes at least $5,000 worth of stuff.

The whole time I was at the fitting/register outing I kept wondering where in the world is her fiance? Does he not have an opinion on their future house decor or kitchen supplies? Does he not want to have his favorite colors incorporated in his special day, too? It's just weird to me that wedding planning has generally become the sole duty of the bride and her mom/girl friends. Websites, tv shows (Bridezillas, Say Yes to the Dress), and magazines like "The Knot" are aimed specifically at brides like my friend. I'm not saying that  it's wrong or pathetic to be excited about your wedding (it's a really important, exciting day!) but it's just not my taste to go all-out on this frilly, white-dress, huge-cake mania. I think I'll probably catch at least a bit of the "wedding fever" when/if I get married, but God help me if I turn into a maniac about it. 

Also on my mind this past Saturday: wedding stores, books, magazines, etc. allow virtually no room for anything but heterosexual marriage. It's so dichotomous! Brides like x, grooms like y. End of story. I kept waiting to see something that wasn't so gender-specific, but never saw it. The guy at Bed, Bath, and Beyond who helped my friend register at that store, said to all three of us girls as we were about to embark on our grand scanning adventure, "Oh, girls! Don't let her hold back! You're the bride...it's your job!" It's her job to do what?! Where are these stereotypes coming from?

Anyway, "Best Wishes."