The two recent articles (Newsweek and Washington Post) we were assigned to read went really well with our discussion of masculinity and the idea of dumping the traditional patriarchal definition of "masculine/manly/man" and redefining it in a more contemporary. While women definitely suffer from the patriarchy's definition and expectations of what it means to be a "man" (see previous blog), men do, too!
The patriarchy stuffs men in a box where they are robbed of activities, behaviors, and experiences because they're dubbed too "girly." When it comes to parenting and home life, men are robbed of quality time with (and the general up-bringing of) their children because they are expected to be professionally successful and primarily devoted to the working world instead of their home lives (wife & kids). Women, in turn, suffer from this as well: they're burdened with the conventional work of being good mothers and wives, but are now also burdened with the expectation that they work full-time professional jobs. When it comes down to it, the children of such families are robbed of real parents. It's a lose-lose-lose situation!
Some people are claiming that masculinity is "dead" because women (who are usually single and child-less)are currently and increasingly surpassing men in attending graduate school and securing high-paying jobs in professional fields that were once dominated by men (many women are now teachers, CEOs, soldiers, etc.). Sadly, men remain on top when it comes to "alcoholism, suicide, homelessness, violence, and criminality." That must be kind of discouraging for men; to get them "back on track" (i.e. back in the "box"), America has come up with TV shows (Dirty Jobs, Deadliest Catch, etc.), books (The Dangerous Book for Boys [my little brother has this book!]), and other forms of media that feature rough and tough men who epitomize the patriarchy's traditional definition of masculinity and, in essence, covertly re-teach men how to be..."men." The box seems inescapable!
To combat the problem of "the box," men (and women!) need to work together to redefine "masculinity" by absolutely abandoning past definitions and expanding/redefining the definition to include "household" activities along with the work-world activities. Men should actually be able to actively ENJOY being fathers, right?
With respect to paternity and spousal activities, Sweden knows what's up. Dads (and moms) are given paid paternity (and maternity) leave to promote their roles as parents who are actually present in their childrens' lives. Men in Sweden work less and father more...which has, in time, redefined "masculinity" so that men are competent at raising their children and have more active roles at home. WIN-WIN. The situation seems to be completely reversed: if Swedish men don't stay home on paid paternity leave, they're negatively judged by fellow MEN, as well as by women (employers, co-workers, friends, etc.). It seems like a dream!
Fortunately, some US states are slowly inching toward similar legislation; I think it will be a long, long time until the expectations and norms in the US are reversed like they are in Sweden. Even though men are taking on jobs that were traditionally feminine (nurse, teacher, etc.), they must cover it up by renaming it to sound and make them feel more masculine: ER nurse instead of pediatric nurse, gym teacher instead of English teacher, etc. Language is powerful!
Reading over the evolution of "the man" and looking at the timeline that was passed around in yesterday's class makes me interested to see what "the man" will be in ten years. Hopefully, he's more like his Swedish counterpart.
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